House and trust

The house stuff is wrapping up fairly well. It's all really much more work than I thought it would be. Everything has worked out though. I noticed today how when I give things to God that I thought I really needed, God usually shows me that I didn't even need them anyway. I know that's a little obscure. But I guess I'm thinking of two specific occurrences, where I was saving up for something or had something in mind that I needed money for, and was tempted to hold off my tithe until I was more financially sound. The first time I was trying to save up 20% to put down on a house, and after I wrote the check, I talked to a loan guy and he told me that was rediculous and if I got an FHA loan I would only need to put 3% down. The 2nd time was today, and I was really worried about closing costs, and managing my budget with a huge mortgage in it... and after I wrote the check 2 friends that I previously thought wouldn't want to live in the house told me that the guy that owns their house is getting engaged so they were definitely going to move in for awhile. Of course I'm totally glad they're coming since they're really tight friends and I think the house will be super fun with them, it's also a huge help to have some extra money to deal with all the expenses and everything I need to buy for the house. God really does seem to bless so often after we give something up, almost just like job. When he took everything from job, he replaced it with things that were much better. When we give up things that we love, he blesses us with things we hadn't even conceived of in our heads, that are such better things for us. I've noticed this in my love life as well. I've gone from girl to girl to girl in my crushes... relationships and whatnot. Every girl I feel is the right one, until God brings me past that and shows me someone that seems to fit me better in some manner. In ways I couldn't have pointed out to the girl previous. I feel God just likes to remind us that he really knows what's best, and if we continually trust in him, he'll take care of everything. It's pretty sweet...

Fixing things and heart

I feel rather good right now. I’m pinning this feeling on multiple occurences and “actions”. I feel rather free from the media. I don’t even have my television connected to the cable. I’ve never been so unmuddled and unbrainwashed by american commercialization. I do watch tv shows, but only dvd’s of smallville, or shows that have been stripped of their commercials through my media center computer. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to watch normal television again. Another thing, is I feel I’ve become a man recently. I’ve grown apart from my parents, into something completely my own. I feel God’s breath in me, and I keep getting scents of something much greater than myself that I feel I must find and begin work on. When I work with my hands and do things I previously though impossible, It’s breathtaking. Fixing things is my passion. I finally worked on my truck today, and figured out how to wire an extra DC outlet into the old cigarrette lighter, so I can have my gps and my ipod plugged in on long trips. I ended up removing the entire dash, and then I fixed the bumper which had been bothering me for ages. I’ve had a passion to get fit lately, and I went to check out a water rower with a coworker at his gym. I found a way to get one pretty cheap online, where you rent it for 10 bucks a month, and after 3 months you can buy it for practically nothing. I’ve been looking for a sustainable exercise I enjoy and that would give me enough exercise to keep things in good shape. Running is only temporary, and with the problems I have with my ankles I know I shouldn’t push myself to run too often. Girls....

My life is really full right now. I feel very satisfied, and excited about the future. Work is fulfilling as well. I’m designing a church, a big one, all by myself mostly, and I feel like I’m really getting a chance to put my engineering mind to the test.

Andrew Peterson and Skydiving

So I'm going skydiving this Sunday and I haven't been so excited about something in a really long time. Maybe since I got a super nintendo when I was like 12. That was a pretty cool day. Sad that's what I get excited about, and I don't really get excited about worshiping God, or promoting God's kingdom. I've been indulging myself with Andrew Peterson music and digging into Donald Miller books. I'm currently reading, "Searching for God knows what." It's a pretty great read, and I've read it pretty quickly. Post college reading is something entirely different from before. I've had a hard time making time for things I used to be able to do whenever I wished. 8+ hours a day really cuts into the day. I crave adventure right now. I feel like my life has really hit a lull. Like there is clearly a groove I've fallen into and can't really see a way out, or for that matter feel an overwhelming desire to get out. I enjoy what I'm doing, but I crave something more that I can't even describe. I'm not really sure what it is. I just feel like there is something I need to be doing, that I just can't pin down. I've decided to stay posted here till God decides to reveal something I feel more led to do. I'm not even sure about the whole engineering thing. I really love "being" an engineer. But I'm not so sure it fits me very well. I think I could do it for the rest of my life and succeed as an engineer, but I just don't think I'll be fulfilled that way. I kinda think I might be happier doing something else, like teaching physics to high schoolers, or owning a coffee shop. The physics really sticks out to me because I could take 3 months to travel and explore during the summer vacation. The monotony of the office is overwhelming sometimes and I just long for the days when a man could farm or hunt to live, instead of struggling to live without our sole occupation being work. I'm looking for a house currently. It's kinda scary, knowing that when I buy a house I will be under the man's thumb full time relatively speaking. Debt is really a huge ball and chain I've striven to avoid as much as possible. At some point I must bear that burden, however, and I feel like it's time for me to be independent of my folks. Like if I don't I might lose my wings or something. Anyways, my mind is wandering a lot right now.

Baptizzle

So I was baptized today. I was pretty nervous about the video they showed beforehand... and frankly I hate listening and watching myself. I think I actually watch myself and hear myself on video less than once a year on average. I notice how I don't pronounce things clearly, or how I fidget so much all the time... and it really bothers me. The baptism was awesome though, and I really loved it. I've been struggling for a pretty long time about what baptism means, and whether I should be baptized or not.

I was baptized when I was a baby, so I've heard both ways... some people say that there is only one baptism, and I shouldn't be baptized as an adult, others say that being baptized as a baby means nothing since you aren't making the decision to follow Christ and therefore be baptized. I ended up deciding that it was a point of obedience for me, and I needed to be baptized under my own will as an adult. There is no spiritual change, and I don't believe my salvation was at stake. I just wanted to be obedience in baptism.

So that's what I think. I'm trying to arrange my journaling in a manner that is a little more appealing to others rather than the typical mumbling I do in my journal. I love to write, and I've missed expressing myself since college. My job doesn't really allow for expressive creative writing very much and I aim to use this blog for that purpose alone. My mind is a strange one, and people tend to enjoy seeing the paths I take in thought.

Genesis

So I've never had a blog before. I've always liked to journal so I think I'll enjoy doing this as well. Life really couldn't be much better honestly. I'm about to graduate, have a job... this semester has been pretty easy. Good friends, great fun, and relaxation is the name of the game.